Counselor Influence

I would like to start this blog post with a story. This did not take place at Yavneh, but at another Jewish summer camp that is very similar to ours. Three seniors in high school were entering their first year as counselors, and their former counselor decided to take them all out to dinner. At the restaurant, he proceeds to tell his former campers the best places in camp to smoke pot because his counselor did the same thing for him. After the dinner, the first year counselors were thankful and really appreciated that their counselor was treating them like they were adults and not campers.

There is no question that as a counselor in camp, such a conversation would be inappropriate. However, outside of the camp setting, especially when not dealing directly with campers anymore, the line becomes murkier. At what point do counselors stop being counselors? Do we allow our lives to be dictated by this camper-counselor relationship? How much influence do current and former counselors really have on their campers? And when does our influence have ramifications on campers that reach far into the future?

Flashback to the year 1997.  I was a kaytana camper going first month and I was having a great time. I loved playing softball and I happened to be on the pee-wee softball team that summer. A few days before my parents were scheduled to pick me up, my rosh aydah pulled me aside and asked me if I wanted to stay the full session. As a naïve 10-year-old, I thought he was asking me to stay because I was good at softball (which I wasn’t) and he wanted me to stay on the team. Even though I had to say no because I was going to another camp after kaytana, that counselor really made me feel quite special. It had a huge effect on me, and it certainly led me to come back to camp the following summer. The thing is, the question that he asked me had nothing to do with softball. Every kid is asked if he or she wants to stay for the full month. His innocuous question had such a significant influence on me, way bigger than he possibly could have realized.[1]

That’s the shear beauty of being a counselor. As a counselor you might say something, do something, react in some way, or passively sit by but the fact of the matter is, the campers are always watching. Whether you enforce rules or you let your campers do what they want, the campers always notice. It is really both the active and passive decisions you make that affect the kids around you.

For me, a prime example of this is the fact that I was rosh da’at at camp in 2006 and 2007. Besides checking the aruv, this job required me to be the face of the religious aspects of camp. I was frequently the Gabbai for the orthodox minyan and often led services, and also found people to do the kiddish, hamotzi and birkat. But because of this job, my campers perceived me as someone who was more religious than I actually was. When I lead the egalitarian minyan after my time as rosh daat, current and former campers often approached and questioned me, wondering why I was praying in that minyan. They assumed I came from an orthodox background, which is false. I could have been a more vocal about my conservative roots but I wasn’t. The thing is, I may have inspired some of my campers to be more involved in orthodox Judaism and may have detracted others but I can assure you I had an effect on them. However, was it fair of me to influence kids in a way that a) I didn’t fully believe in, and b) wasn’t necessarily the way that “camp does it”? The answer is certainly up for debate.

This past summer my male campers were obsessed with the prospect of playing a game called fire/Mario tennis. The game is played at night on the tennis courts and consists of dousing a tennis ball in lighter fluid, lighting it on fire and hitting it back and forth with tennis rackets. They had learned of the game from Kerem 06, the Kerem that their current counselors were in. Due to the dangers of the game, it was obvious that this game could not be allowed. However, because of this rule, I put my counselors in an ethical dilemma. How could they preach to my campers that they couldn’t play Mario tennis when it was obvious that they themselves had played when they were campers? It is pure hypocrisy. Is it ok to distinguish between a comment made by a 20 year old and the actions of the same person at the age of 16? How can you predict how much influence you have as a counselor over a camper before you even finish your Kerem summer?

Let’s return to the pot smoking example. It turns out that those three first year counselors got kicked out of camp within the first week of being there for smoking pot. Who do you blame in this situation? The new counselors for smoking, or the former counselor for improperly influencing his former campers? The power of influence creates many ethical and moral dilemmas - it’s not easy to say every situation is black and white, yes or no, or good or bad.  

I struggled and continue to struggle with this issue all of the time. On the one hand, I know that I don’t have campers anymore. I will never be a rosh again and my youngest campers are 17, on the cusp of going to college and making big decisions for themselves. They would want me to treat them as I would treat every other adult. However, as I was told countless times over the summer[2], my kids look up to me. I am a role model to them and because of that I have trouble acting any other way. The balance of when or how much to influence my campers is constantly in play; and likely will be for a long time.  

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[1] EDIT: In fact, at Leah Lebowitz wedding on Tuesday, a camper from Kerem 2010 came up to me and told me that his rosh in 2004 loved him because he asked him to stay for the full month.

[2] EDIT: and even just recently as the other day at the wedding,

My Zimriyah Rankings, Part 4

3. Kerem 07- 1^st in Leviim (3), 1^st in Maalot and Swept (3),  3^rd in Kerem (1) Second best Shir Chasidi (2), Top Five Shir Aydah (1). Points: 10

Best Zimriyah Song: Heaven is a Place on Earth (Maalot, Aydah)

Worst Zimriyah Song: Yiru (Arayot, Chasidi)

For a rosh aydah who was uninvolved in Zimriyah all three years he was their rosh, and who admits that his least favorite part about camp is Zimriyah, his kids ended up doing a fantastic job rocking the socks off of camp in 05 and 06. They won their first year with three very original songs, and their second year with less originality, but so much will and energy. It certainly was a pleasure winning as counselor[1] and knowing that the win was partially due to mine and my co–counselors creativity.[2]  However, surprising everyone, in Kerem they lost it. Their Shir Chasidi and Yisraeli were underwhelming, and their Shir Aydah was good but not over-the-top incredible. If they had managed to pull of the victory in Kerem we would be talking about Kerem 07 as the best Zimriyah aydah.

2. Kerem 12-

1^st in Arayot (3), 1^st in Leviim and Swept (3+1.5), Second best Shir Aydah (2), Best Shir Yisraeli (3). Points: 12.5

Best Zimirah Song: Heartless Mashup (Arayot, Aydah)

Worst Zimirah Song: Uf Guzal[3] (Arayot, Yisraeli)

I want to attempt to explain how good Kerem 12 is at Zimriyah. Within the first two years of in the older half of camp (Arayot and older), they are half a point away from first place. They are missing both their Maalot and Kerem summers, and yet they rank second. It is almost impossible for me to imagine that they won’t be in first place next year, and I they will most likely break 20 Zimriyah points by the end of their run. Insanity. They are blessed with a talented and motivated aydah, even more talented counselors and a sing/no scream issue that plagues others. Overall it makes for a positively lethal combination.

Now as a matter of perspective they are blessed to be where they are because they didn’t have the powerhouses of Kerem 07 and Kerem 08 to contend with. They also are next to the worst aydah at Zimiyrah (Kerem 11) so this also boosts their stats. People do theorize that it is a very counselor driven aydah, led by Neal Freyman and Avi Packer. Some argue that they have yet to do anything by themselves. Yes, this is true, however, we cannot forget that these kids  just completed their Leviim summer. At this point, it is the counselor's responsibility to lead them, and I would never expect a Leviim camper to run their own Zimriyah. Now, in Kerem, if they still have Neal and Avi in the front, then this argument will be more valid. Regardless of all of the criticism, their aydah and their counselors have incredible talent for Zimriyah.

1. Kerem 03-

2^nd in Arayot (2), 1^st in Leviim and Swept (3), 1^st in Maalot (3), Second in Kerem (2) Second best Shir Yisraeli (2), Top five Shir Yisraeli (1). Points: 13

Best Song: Halo Yaakov (Maalot, Yisraeli)

Worst Song Cecelia (Leviim, Aydah)

The best. Number 1. The big kahuna. I kind of like the fact that the number 1 aydah is the second to oldest that is ranked. The members of Kerem 03, as an aydah, were the pioneers of the new Zimriyah. They led the exile from  hand-holding-sway-back-and-forth type and into the exciting-rock-out-we-are-gonna-destroy-you type.  They practically invented what we think of as good and innovative hand motions, and the antics that they provided certainly bumped everything up a level (or two…or three). Every year to open their songs[4], they had Dan Karp and Sam Seigel sit in lawn chairs and play out some sort of comedy routine either in English or Hebrew.  It was hilarious and very representative of their aydah. Now, I don’t know what they were thinking going with an oldie for their Leviim Shir Aydah, and doing it a capella style no less, but we can forgive them. These guys were also blessed with being sandwiched between relatively easy competitors, and they no question would have won in Kerem as well if Maalot hadn’t swept in from under them. Overall though, they were fantastic, and deserve to be in the number one slot. But, as I predict, it just won’t hold on for so much longer.  You heard it from me first.

My Predictions for Zimriyah 2011

Maalot (wins two out of three of their songs as well)

Arayot (this aydah will be a powerhouse as well. Watch out.)

Kerem (They finally get on the board by giving it all of the energy they can muster)

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[1] It was great being able to experience this from both sides and also it felt way better to win Zimriyah than it did to lose Zimriyah and win melech Zimriyah like I did in 08.

[2] Of course this applies to every aydah (Besides Kerem) that wins as well.

[3] I cannot believe that I am saying that Uf Guzal qualifies for a worst song. Due partially to recognition and partially to the performance, I loved this song and I though Adam Brady and Abby Suldan’s duet was great. But if there has to be a worst song out of the six, this is it. It was a bit too simple and unoriginal.

[4] This was a time where they had formal openings to all songs

My Zimriyah Rankings, Part 3

5. Kerem 10 –

2^nd in Leviim (2), 3^rd  in Maalot (1), 2^nd in Kerem (2), Best Shir Chasidi (3), Top five Shir Aydah (1) Points: 9

Best Zimriyah Song: Modeh Ani (Leviim, Chasidi)

Worst Zimriyah Song: Brick in the Wall (Arayot, Aydah)

Yes, I acknowledge that I am ranking Kerem 10 higher than three aydot who have won Zimriyah before. But I think there is justification for it. For one, they were more consistent than Kerems 04-06. They placed in the top 3 for three years in a row. Secondly, they had some really epic songs. Maybe I value the worth of these songs too high, but I think the way that Modeh Ani defined the summer of 2008, it was like they had won Zimriyah. As stated before, I think the model that Kerem 2010 used for their shir Yisraeli and Aydah will be a model future aydot will use, and because of this influence, their legacy will live on. Finally, their competition was very tough. It is really hard to go up against the aydah (Kerem 12) who will be the best aydah at Zimriyah of all time next summer. It just makes it that much harder.

So now that I have gone off describing why Kerem 10 was so good, what prevented them from getting over the ‘hump’ and actually winning? Two factors contributed to their downfall. Two horrendous Shirei Aydah in Arayot and Leviim and their obsession with screaming, even though they were repeatedly told not to. Yes I know they did not have a lot of time in Arayot to work on Zimriyah, but the fact they chose Brick in the Wall somewhat invalidates that argument because they could never possibly win with a choice like that. Similarly in Leviim, their Shir Aydah was crazy, in a weird way, and the whole song was a bizarre choice. The next two years they had some great songs but the scream in them came out. They screamed in Maalot when they were the favorites and had three aydot place higher than them. And they screamed in Kerem and it cost them all three songs. Kerem 2010 was a very talented aydah, but I think they got unlucky and wanted it too much.

4. Kerem 08-

3^rd  in Leviim (1), 1^st in Maalot (3), 1^st in Kerem (3+1.5), Top five Shir Yisraeli (1). Points: 9.5

Best Zimirah Song: Beatles medley (Maalot, Aydah)

Worst Zimriyah Song: ?

Kerem 08 had slow beginning, but boy did they finish strong. Winning in Maalot and Kerem will definitely make an aydah known as great Zimriyah performers, and they certainly deserve that recognition. However there are two reasons why I think they are fourth on this list rather than third (behind Kerem 07 rather than ahead). First, they never had a totally dominant performance like Kerem 07 had in Maalot, Kerem 03 had in Maalot and Kerem 12 had in Leviim. You just knew that in all three of these instances that they just had it in the bag. Second, and I think more important, is the fact that they never really had a song that swept camp. Their best song, in my opinion, was their Beatles medley, and even though it was great, it wasn’t orginial nor particularly creative. You just didn’t hear kids singing their Zimriyah songs after the performance like you did with the songs from the aydot that are ranked above Kerem 08. Overall though, very solid performance and is extremely impressive that they pulled off the victory in Kerem.