My Zimriah Rankings, Part 2

8. Kerem 06-

1^st in Leviim (3),  2^nd in Kerem (2), Top five Shir Yisraeli (1). Points: 6

Best Zimriyah Song: Car Wash Medley (Maalot, Aydah)

Worst Zimirah Song: Shalom Al Israel (Arayot, Yisraeli)

Never known as a ‘great at Zimirah aydah;, these guys certainly had their moment for both good and bad. They managed to tie for first place in Leviim anchored by “Tnu Le Rock and Roll,”  which I will always be bitter about because it beat the song I chose for my aydah’s shir Yisraeli. They were also great in Kerem, but Maalot that year just beat them out for the victory. However, Kerem 06 certainly had their rough patches as well. Their song choice for their shir Yisraeli in arayot is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard. Shalom Al Israel song to the tune of “puff the magic dragon,” also had sections of rap mixed in? Do judges really want to hear a 13-year-olds rap for Zimriyah? Yeah, neither do I. Lastly, Kerem 06’s mistakes were significant in their defeat. They probably got disqualified for shutting off the lights, they passed up on one of the best shir Chasidi’s out there, (See Kerem 2007 and Kol Hamitpalel), and they almost wrecked the audio guy’s equipment.

7. Kerem 04-

1^st in Maalot and Swept (3+1.5), 2^nd in Kerem (2) Top five Shir Aydah (1). Points: 7.5

Best Zimirah Song: Mr. Blue Sky (Kerem, Aydah)

Worst Zimirah Song: Under the Sea/Minyan Man (Arayot, Aydah)

We were bad. Very bad. Yes, Zimriyah was a horse of another color back then, but under no circumstances should any aydah ever do Minyan Man and a Disney tune for their shir aydah. Not even Gurim. Horrible idea. And like most naïve 13-year-olds with no context of what a good Zimriyah song was, we would sing over Joel Sussman and Saul Strosberg with our lyrics during Relish. The following year, it didn’t get much better. All three songs were awful, and I think the judges felt bad and gave us 3^rd place for shir aydah. That year for Shir Yisraeli, things were so bad we didn’t even know the words to our song. But then in Maalot it all changed. From worst to first with a sweep. I have said before, and I will say again, I don’t think we deserved the sweep, but it was certainly a highlight of my Yavneh career. That year we had experienced the loss of a friend and former member of our aydah on the first day of camp, and I think more than anything, we were able to harness our grief and join together for Zimriyah. The following year in Kerem, if we hadn’t messed up in our rockin’ shir Chasidi, we would be talking about my Kerem having at least several more points, which would bump us up to third on this list.

6. Kerem 05-

2^nd in Arayot (2), 1^st in Maalot (3), 3^rd in Kerem (1), Two Top five Shir Chasidi (1+1) Points: 8

Best Zimirah Song: Ani Maamin (Maalot, Chasidi)

Worst Zimirah Song: Buddy Holly (Leviim, Aydah)

Like the two Kerem’s that sandwiched them (Kerem 04 and 06) Kerem 05 had their moments of greatness as well as mediocrity. They certainly fluctuated every year: they almost won in Arayot, screamed every song in Leviim, tied for the win in Maalot, and limped into third place behind Leviim and Gurim when they were in Kerem. I heard[1] that they only had 7 or so Zimriyah practices Kerem summer? Wow, I can’t really imagine, even five years later an aydah only having 7 practices. The week before Zimriyah is really reserved for only one thing. Zimriyah practice.

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[1] I was on Naaleh so I don’t know for sure

My Zimriah Rankings, Part 1

What is best aydah in Zimriyah? Who is the worst? What is the order?

Before I begin, I would like to explain the method behind my rankings. I tried to rank these aydot as objectively as possible by assigning points to different aspects of Zimriyah performance. In order of most important to least important, I found that the four most cited reasons a particular aydah is great at Zimriyah were the following: how well did an aydah place from Arayot to Kerem? Were there any songs that an aydah performed that were extraordinary? Did the aydah win in Kerem,? Did the adyah sweep? Because of these four categories, and the fact that I already complied a top 15 list for best songs, I will explain how the point system works.

·      If an aydah got 1^st, 2^nd or 3^rd place I awarded 3,2, and 1 point respectively. I didn’t bother compensating for ties because when it comes to legacy, it doesn’t matter if you tie.

·      If a song was the top five for any of the best songs lists, I gave the aydah a point. If it was in the top two, I gave the aydah an extra point. If it was the best of any category I gave it a third point. And if it was Maalot 01’s shir aydah, I gave it four (just because it was so good)

·      If an aydah won in Kerem or swept Zimriyah, I gave them 1.5 bonus points. I reasoned that in order to sweep or win in Kerem, you already got 3 points, but when it comes to legacy it is slightly better than having a song in a top five.


NOTE: I am only judging the aydot when they were alone, i.e. from arayot to kerem. For these rankings I wanted to see how the aydah preformed when they were independent and older, not when they had another aydah with them. 

Anyway, here is the order from worse to first.

11. Kerem 11:

 Points 0.

Best song: Boche El Hakirot [1] (Maalot, Yisraeli).

Worse song: I Believe (Leviim, Aydah)

I just don’t know what it is, but Kerem 11 is just 100% horrible at Zimriyah. As the only aydah never to place, nor have a top 15 song, they are an anomaly when it comes to the new era of Zimriyah. Daniel Hoffman once explained to me why they were so bad: “[For their Shir Aydah in Leviim,] they started off key, and then Bentzi tried to match their key so that they wouldn't sound as bad.  However they changed key again, so that despite his best efforts they were still out of key. Fortunately they didn’t care that much- or maybe it was part of the cause.” I think Hoffman got it spot on. Especially among the some of boys, it just doesn’t seem like they care, and really there isn’t a strong male voice to have an epic solo.   In Maalot, they were certainly better, but I think everyone realized going into Zimriyah that year, the competition would be a battle between Leviim and Kerem for the gold. Now, not all hope is lost. They still have one more year, and they need to get 3 points to tie Kerem 09 in my rankings. Kerem has placed in Zimriyah for the past 8 years, so there is a good chance they will get at least one point. If they win, they will automatically clinch, not being the worst (with the bonus Kerem points) but I don’t know how likely that will be.

10. Kerem 09-

 2^nd in Kerem (2), Top five shir Chasidi (1), Points: 3

Best Song: Samachti (Kerem, Chasidi)

Worst Song: Vayhu Ha Devarim (Arayot, Chasidi)

If Kerem 11 thinks they have a chance at being the only aydah not to get at least one Zimriyah point they should look no further than Kerem 09. Why? Because, going into Kerem, this aydah had also received a total of 0 points. However, I really don’t think they were as bad at Kerem 11 has been. Going into Zimirah 2007, a lot of people thought that this aydah (Leviim at the time) was going to win. They flopped. Once again in Maalot, when I was their counselor, and won Melech Zimriyah with them, we had some pretty awesome songs. But when Zimriyah came they flopped again. The only redeeming factor that year was that Gavi Bohan was amazing and they aydah earned second place for shir aydah. Now in Kerem, enter Jordana Suldan and Ben Rotter. In short, these two campers essentially became counselors and for the most part everyone listened to them as if they were. Somehow, someway, it worked, and they performed quite well their Kerem summer. Kudos to Kerem 09 for not being the worst at Zimriyah.

9. Kerem 02-

3^rd in Maalot (1) , Best Shir Aydah (4).  Points: 5

Best Song: Like a Prayer, (Maalot, Aydah)

Worse song: David Melech (Maalot, Chasidi)

Kerem 2002 was like Los del Rio. Yep that’s right, in 1995 Los del Rio released a song called the Macarena. According to Wikipedia they were number 1 on ‘billboard’s hot 100’ for 3 and half months in 1996 which ties it for second longest of all time. And yet Los del Rio made no other legitimate music besides that one single. We love the Macarena but don’t care about anything else they created. In fact, Los del Rio was named #1 on the VH1’s list of top one hit wonders of all time.  That’s Kerem 02 for you. Invested so much energy making that amazing song, but never really performed before or after that. That same year in fact, they did a song called David Melech, which had only five words and they wore gold crown. It was horrible. However, there is no question, for as long as I am still around talking about Zimriyah, they will be known as the aydah that did “Like a Prayer,” rocked it and changed the face of Zimriyah.

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[1] By default, it’s the only song they have ever placed in. 

Is Gurim favored in Zimriyah? Part 2

I think I have proven that Gurim is in fact favored. However, I have yet to propose the mechanism through which they are favored. For one, I am certainly not claiming that there actually is a conspiracy theory that exists to favor Gurim. That would be ridiculous and unreasonable.  In fact, I am not even suggesting that there is a subconscious feeling amongst the judges that compensating Gurim with “extra love” is appropriate.[1] After a G-chat conversation with Daniel Hoffman we agreed that the reason why Gurim does unreasonably well is...drum roll please…the score sheet.

The current rubric is just plain old silly. This rubric favors aydot like Gurim that don’t add any embellishments to their songs, but usually sing on key and don’t scream because their songs are so easy. They don’t have the same energy that is expected from older aydot. But why does this matter? I’m going to let you in on a secret. Singing/Not Screaming and Singing on Key are worth 10 points each, where embellishments, which include all of the cute gimmicks, stand-ups and sit-downs, and hand motions are only worth five. That is basically 20 free points for Gurim. Now, when it comes to embellishments, I know there is a huge difference between the “painting someone green and running all over the Beit Am” type of embellishment, and the “making a song more complex” type of embellishment. Aydot should be rewarded if they execute a harder song or harder motion; just like in ice-skating.[2]

Just to note though, over the past two years Gurim has not placed in any song…

Besides Gurim’s tendency to be favored, there are also other cool things I learned from the data.

Kerem: Kerem is the most consistent. Kerem has placed in the top three every year for the last eight years. However, their consistency correlate with overall victories. They have only won Zimriah once, and usually have to settle for a close second. For the theory on why Kerem doesn’t win but usually gets second place, I will go with what is conventional: there is a lot on Kerem’s plate during the middle of camp compared with Maalot and Leviim. They have to run Zimriah completely by themselves from start to finish and there usually is not a lot of time for them to practice. On the other hand, Kerem always has the heart. They always want to win the most and usually get so close.

Maalot: The theory that Maalot does the best because of the combination of being older andhaving a lot of time is true, but not by much. Yes, Maalot does well and if I had to put my money on a particular aydah I would choose them, but realistically, Kerem or Leviim can win any given year. However, there have been some epic performances in Maalot, and sometimes, Maalot can just blow you away. 

Leviim: After looking at the numbers, Leviim’s performance surprised me the most. They almost have the same amount of points as Maalot and Kerem, with fewer appearances in the top 3. More interesting though is that they have never placed third overall. These two facts demonstrate to me how polarizing Leviim’s performance can be. Depending on the year, they can be fantastic, or dreadful. It fully depends on the particular aydah.

Arayot: There are very few years when Arayot performs well. In fact they have only placed twice in the past ten years, which statistically makes them the worst bet to win Zimriyah. They do somewhat resemble the Leviim’s performance in that they either do really well or really poorly, except they generally tend to underperform. I guess when puberty is reeling its ugly head, and boys are cracking every other note, it is pretty hard to win a singing competition.

Kfirim: Besides the past two years when Betty Bauman and Toby Kuperwaser lead Kfirim to second and third place victories, Kfirim is generally abysmal. The largest aydah, with the most amount of energy doesn’t translate when you need them to sit down for a peulah and learn songs. Surprisingly, statistically speaking, they are not the worst at Zimriyah in terms of points nor the amount of times that the aydah has placed. This shows me that Kfirim, if motivated correctly, can actually compete.

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[1] Even though I could make a strong argument for this compensation. Here would be my logic if I were to propose this: there are always 5 Gurim kids on the sides who don’t know any words or hand motions. It is not a big deal, but it’s the truth. If there were five kids in Kerem on the side not singing, they would come in last place, no question.

[2] Thanks Hoffman for the analogy.