Thursday, January 6, 2011

Kerem's Anticipation Part 2 + Stats.

Before I begin I want to say three things.

  • A lot of people have been asking me about my stats. This is my rundown.
    • Total Views: 2731 as of 4pm EST, January 6th. 
    • Day with most views: December 15th (day I launched it) 395
    • Average views per day:  120
    • Average views per days I post: 244
    • Any other specific questions, post it to the comments.

  • Just from the conversations I've been having on Facebook, it is clear to me that a lot of you feel strongly one way or another about individual posts. However, there have been fewer comments than expected. If you have an opinion either way, or just want to say something unrelated, please comment. I love to hear what you think, and the more people that talk, the greater the conversation becomes. 
  • I was searching "Camp Yavneh Theory" in google and I came upon a website called, Networkedblogs.com. Anyway, some how my blog is on the network "camp" and right now I am ranked 28th EDIT: 13th EDIT: 8th. They way I climb the rankings is if people hit follow next to my blog. Its really easy, you just have to be signed into Facebook to do it.  I would really appreciate your help. All we need is 37 other people to follow it and then Camp Yavneh Theory will be the most popular camp blog on that website. Pretty cool! Anyway, here is the link: 


Beginning of the Post:

(This is a continuation of last post) 

Strive for happiness. That was my answer. This was the only way I knew I could prevent disappointment.  In general, happiness is a very broad topic that many people have researched and discussed.[1] However, in this context, the universal question of happiness was not my concern. I needed to identify the points in camp that caused unhappiness, and devise a strategy to avoid it.  After many conversations and a lot of thinking, I thought of three main things that made the average Kerem camper unhappy.

 The first point came to me the summer before my kids were in Kerem. As a rosh of Maalot 2009, when second month came, I was forced to relocate to Ben Zakai because our bunk was too crowded. One afternoon in the middle of the month, I walk into the bunk and one camper says to me, “Yoni, you are making a cameo appearance here, and I mean it in a bad way.” I asked him to clarify, and he told me that I was never around anymore, and it seemed as though I didn’t care about the bunk. Now, rather than being defensive like many would be when a fifteen-year-old camper reprimands you, I apologized, and told him I would work on it. But surprisingly, that conversation, more than anything else, made me feel good. He showed me that he really cared that I was invested in their everyday lives, and when I didn’t show it, I lost his trust in me.  Campers always have a right to demand counselor’s full appreciation and fairness.

With this conversation in mind the summer before my campers began their Kerem summer, I developed a few strategies to show them I cared. First, I started writing them emails every other week before the summer. I also had my staff each write an email of their own so my kids knew how excited their staff was about the upcoming summer. If the kids don’t think you are eager about their Kerem summer, you’re setting your standards for a below-average summer. At camp I did several things to show them I cared:

  •        I tried to sleep in the boys bunk at least once a week. The aydah suffered an unfortunate loss when a camper had to go home for personal reasons in the first few days of camp, but I was able to take advantage of the vacant bed. The boys loved that I ‘roughed’ it with them, and I got to hang out late at night with them, which provided critical bonding time.
  •        I visited the girls bunk as much as I could, including every Friday Night after our tisch. Not only were my counselors happy that I would ‘sleep-in’ every Friday night, but I took this as an opportunity to show the girls that I was their rosh too. As a single rosh, it is incredibly important to foster a good relationship with the opposite gender. As a male, it’s really easy to get caught up in all of the boys’ activities and pay less attention to what the girls are interested in and are feeling. By doing this, I tried as hard as I could to show them I was committed to them as much as the boys.
  •        As mentioned in my post about secrets, at the beginning of the summer I made a rule about no secrets. This paid off when my campers knew the Kerem staff was open and transparent when it came to announcing their daily activities.
  •        I complemented my campers individually and as group when they did a good job, and told them what I thought needed improvement. This showed that I was actively watching them and cheering them on from the sidelines, but also showed that I cared about their growth when I suggested improvements. No one wants to hear criticism, but when it is offered in a constructive way, It is often better received, as a tool of guidance rather than disapproval.

The second taboo for Kerem summer is limiting free time. Kids come to camp to hang out, and if you take this privilege away from them, they become more and more upset and disappointed. I witnessed this first hand in 2007 and from afar in 2008 and 2009, and I learned that constant meetings and activities characterized all three summers in the first few weeks of camp. In fact, Kerem ‘09 had a meeting with their counselors and rosh in the second week of camp complaining about the unending influx of meetings.[2]

The problem is that saying, ‘Lets get rid of all of our meetings and give them free time’ is not possible. It seems as though every year another big responsibility is tacked on to the Kerem experience, and the camp fully expects everything to be accomplished. For example, the third week of camp for Kerem is often characterized by multiple aspects of  Zimriyah, the play, planning peulot for other aydot, leadership activities, etc. All of these require Kerem’s time and energy, and the only way it can all be done correctly is through planning and discussion in a meeting or committee. I needed to figure out a methodology to curb all of the time spent at meeting to devote to more free time, but also get everything accomplished that the camp expected.

  •      During the first day of camp for Kerem 2009, I observed that the conversations about the ‘things’ Kerem needs to do took up a lot of the evening. It just seemed like a drag. I wanted the first day, for my kids, to be as memorable as possible. I told the play director and a few other people that I would not allow them to talk to the aydah about anything relating to Kerem responsibilities or expectations. 
  •       One of the first days of camp, I made a rule that really helped restrain the relentless meeting problem. I informed my kids that there is no decision that Kerem makes that would require everyone to be there, including all things pertaining to Zimriyah. A vote could consist of 20 people if thirty people were running around and doing something else, and that would be the final call. This led to the understanding that the kids should expect multiple things going on at once, and that they would have to pick their battles when it came to taking charge and decision-making. By having one (rather than three) peulah dedicated to planning in the afternoon, we had more time to do what we wanted. And whenever I had the opportunity, l let them have free time..
  •       Every year, Kerem is responsible for planting the Kerem garden.[3] And every year it is always an issue of when is everyone going to go and weed the garden and plant the flowers. It is impossible to find a time when everyone can do it. So what did I do? During a meeting to discuss Zimriyah walk ins, I had 3 or 4 boys skip the meeting and plant the garden. The boys were happy that they got skip the meeting, I was happy because the garden was planted, and the kids leading the meetings were happy that they didn’t have to deal with the 3 or 4 boys in the meeting who probably wouldn’t be listening. Talk about a win, win, and win situation.

I can sum up this point with a quote from Elie Lerea during reunion weekend. “Other Kerem’s complained about how many meetings they had… I don’t think we had many at all.” Bingo.

My final point concerns the leadership aspect of Kerem. Coming into the summer, you are told that Kerem is the ‘leadership summer.’ It is designed for you as an individual and therefore you should expect to experience personal growth. The problem with this attitude is that there are 51 people in the aydah and not everyone can do everything they want. Not everyone can be a rosh for Maccabiah, not everyone can have a lead in the play, not everyone can run KTV, and not everyone can lead Zimriyah. If people are on the outside looking in, they struggle with the feeling of not having the opportunity to do the things they want. Parents pay a lot of money to send their children to camp, and when kids are thrown into this collective group without having the ability to express how they feel on a regular basis, nor have the opportunity to lead something they have dreamed of as their moment to shine, they feel cheated out of their summer, and Kerem, experience. Therefore I tried as hard as I could to make sure everyone was heard, everyone got a chance at something, and everyone felt that they were contributing:
  •      I tried at the beginning of the summer to institute a new type of chug for Kerem, in which they could designa personal project for the camp’s benefit. I had wild ideas for the kids from a camp newspaper to running a party for the camp. It did not go nearly as well as I wanted it to, mostly because I wasn’t able to devote my time in the morning to them, but one group was able to run with their own project. They decided they wanted to beautify the camp by hanging Hebrew words of encouragement in central locations. It was completely self-run, and they had full ownership of the project.
  •       A take off of a staff initiative in Kerem ‘07, I decided to have my staff have individual mentor meetings with every kid in the aydah.[4] We each had our own group of ten campers, and every Shabbat we would schedule 5-minute meetings with each of them. In the meetings, we would touch base with the camper and get their overall impression of the summer, likes and dislikes. It was a great way for everyone to voice their option, and a great way to find out what the issues were in the aydah so that we could address them appropriately. These meetings strengthened our individual bonds with each member.
  •       Another idea I got from ELi in Kerem ‘07 was the concept of golden stars, golden rocks, or what I called chanichim mitztayim.[5] I would give out these types of awards so that my campers would feel appreciated for the hard work that they put in to their Kerem summer. As one of the only formal peulot that we would have during the week, I required that every Friday afternoon, everyone in the aydah would get together before shower time so that I could distribute these awards. Every week I would give an award to 7 or 8 people who had done something in the past week that had really helped our aydah. Everyone ended up getting one by the end of the summer.


I go into such great detail here in order to highlight the importance of strategy in planning a successful Kerem summer. I am certainly not saying the summer did not go by without a hitch or two, but I think for the most part the general outlook was always positive, and I hope future Kerems can take this into consideration and build upon it for even greater success.


[1] One of my favorite discussions about happiness can be found at http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html. In this video, Dan Gilbert argues that happiness is attained by not having choice and being forced down a particular path. As he explains, research shows that a year after someone wins the lottery, someone who is paraplegic is happier than the lottery winner. 
[2] It is extremely ironic to have a meeting about frustration with meetings. It
s like planning a time to plan. Gets me every time.
[3] Kerem garden is the memorial garden by the agam. It might have started with Steve Shimshak in Kerem 1994. While watching the videos with PJ I remember seeing him working in the garden.
[4] This became so popular that Maalot started to do it as well.
[5] This is a take off of madrichim mitztayim, the counselor greats that are awarded every Saturday night. 

8 comments:

  1. Nice post! From my Kerem experience, I think the biggest problem arises when Kerem feels they aren't being treated as they should be. Kerem summer, in their minds, should mean that they have more privileges than any other campers, but fewer responsibilities than the counselors. I remember a lot of people in our Kerem year struggling with the fact that we felt we were being given too much responsibility without the appropriate and proportional amount of privileges. We felt either like counselors without the benefits or like regular campers with added responsibility. So I think the main objective should be to avoid that sentiment, and I think that ties in with what you said. The most important thing in my mind, though, is the idea of meeting with the kids on a consistent basis throughout the summer because as much as you can plan ahead to avoid unhappiness (by doing the things you listed), things happen and it's important to constantly be getting feedback so you can adjust and fix the problems. If they feel they aren't being treated well, they need an opportunity to voice that opinion so that something can be done about it.

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  2. Avi-

    I completely agree with you. Watch out for my next post where it will be about privileges in Kerem. I go in to the arguments from both sides and then I propose a solution.

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  3. Yoni, I hope my comment to you wasn't so harsh as to call your time in the bunk "cameo appearances." That being said, I'm glad it did end up having a positive effect on you and to this day I think a Rosh's presence is essential.

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  4. Yoni! This is great, and I especially like the one-on-one meetings idea...something that I definitely think was lacking in my own (and many other) Kerems, allowing individual kids to get a little lost in the shuffle. I think it applies to any summer, though, and that we should encourage all counselors (espec. girls bunks Arayot and upwards! ...drama, drama, drama) to have some system of checking in with individual kids, regularly. We tried to do this 2nd month with our girls on Shabbat and it helped me/us learn a lot that we otherwise would probably not have picked up on. I think it can really help the Rosh and staff of any aydah to have that line of communication going on all the time so that each kid is accounted for and being paid attention to.

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  5. Lianna-

    Yeah I agree. These conversations need to happen for everyone. It is not fair if we (as counselors or roshes) only listen to the the campers who are most vocal.

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  6. Yoni-

    When speaking about spreading the work load, you described two different models, which in my mind are very different. The first is splitting the kids into two or three groups to make the big decisions, such as Zimriyah songs, or the peulot erev etc. In that situation half the aydah doesn't have a say in whatever (x) is, but you get things done twice as fast. The second model is the "Kerem Garden" where the majority of the aydah seemed to be in the Zimriyah meeting and the 3 or 4 boys who can't handle sitting down for 3 hours are sent to work on the Kerem Garden. In that situation it seems as only a few kids arent involved in the decision, whereas the rest of the Aydah is present and deciding.

    First I wanted to ask you which of the two models you found more useful? Or its possible that they were the same thing and that you didn't use both of these tactics at the exclusion of each other. Did you have sentiment for not being able to make decisions from kids who wanted to be involved? Furthermore did it cause a lack of participation in any way (because it was a decision of the entire aydah vs. the entire one)?

    Also of course I want to echo the Lianna/Avis comments saying that this system of not having everyone there for everything was definitely missing in our Kerem and in most Kerems of old. Resulting as Avi put wonderfully in a feeling of campers with more responsibilities, and not the pride of being a leader.

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  7. Natan-

    Thanks for your your questions. After thinking about it, I would like to make a distinction between planning and deciding. Every aydah breaks up into small groups and committees to plan. Obviously I was not the first one to think to only have a few people work on each aspect of Zimriyah, peulot etc, because obviously you dont need 51 people to create hand motions, nor need them to put together a 45 minute gurim peulah. The novel idea was in the decision making without the whole group present.

    Let me use the Kerem garden example. What I didn't tell you was that originally that meeting consisted of the 25ish people who were not in play practice, and only when play practice was over did the rest of the aydah join. If play practice happened to be longer that day, I would have been fine with the decision. It just so happened that the 3-4 boys were also not in play practice and i had them work the garden instead of be part of the Zimriyah decision.

    I guess my main point is we shouldn't be afraid to let a few kids miss a particular opportunity if it benefits the group. I would say in general it is better to have everyone (or most people) present, but I would advocate for more efficiency over making sure everyone is there. However, there is something to be said about taking the 3 worst /misbehaving kids out of an activity to alleviate the stress of the group/counselors. I would say this is an efficient way to solve the problem especially if it is not a recurring behavior with any of the rowdy kids.

    I dont think I lost much when the decision was made without the entire aydah. They kids knew on the first day that they had to pick their priorities and if they chose sone thing (ie the play) then they couldnt have the same active role in something else. Then of course there were kids who couldn't have cared less about any decision and for them making the meetings as smooth as possible was always important.

    I hope this ramble answered your question.

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  8. I really liked this post, Yoni. A lot of people talked this summer about whether 2KX was "the best Kerem ever" or better than certain other Kerems. This post made me realize that regardless of whether they were the "best" Kerem, I think they definitely had the best and most enjoyable Kerem summer, largely thanks to the way you interacted with them as their Rosh and really thought about how to make it the best summer possible.

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